


we were setting fires

by angstandcaffeine



Category: Friends at the Table (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, set during spring vaguely before episode 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-20 10:06:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16553741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstandcaffeine/pseuds/angstandcaffeine
Summary: the warmth of love sustains ephrim and throndir through the end of winter





	we were setting fires

It is cold, and we are tired.

It is not the kind of tiredness you can shake with a cup of coffee or a night of sleep. It is the exhaustion of perpetual work that seeps into your bones. The weight of each day sits on your chest like a brick: getting lost in the snow and rebuilding a house and trying to keep this unstable peace turn physical and stack up. They become a wall, an insurmountable wall that separates you from ever feeling truly rested. The dull aches of hunger and worry bore holes in your spirit.

Sometimes I wonder if that’s what happened to your hand - worry made physical. But I know not to ask.

There is no warmth that can be found. The only warmth that exists is the one that we make. And we try our damnedest to make it.

-

In the garden, when you are convinced that no one can see us and I tell you that they totally can, your smirk lights a fire in my belly. You tease me, tell me that I need to keep quiet. I do my best.

-

The first time you kiss me, you lift my chin so I look up into your eyes. I cannot describe the scenery because I do not remember where we are. What I do remember is how good it feels so be so close, your hand in my hair, my fingers clutching your coat.

-

When we finally fix the roof of the storeroom, you turn to me with sawdust in your hair. I hold you close as I brush it out. We haven’t had dye for a few months now, so black roots fade out to your trademark firey red. You pout about it a little. I remind you that I like this version of your hair too, that I like every version of you. You roll your eyes at me, but you squeeze my sides before you walk away.

-

The first time I kiss you is burned into my memory. It’s dark, and my mind can’t decide if it’s more important to rest or to not be alone. I guess you feel the same, because we’re curled up together, not quite awake or asleep. You roll over, head pressing into my chest. And I’m content, somehow. The world outside this room is cold and scary and literally falling apart, but in this bed with you I feel safe and warm. I press my lips to your temple. You hum, glancing up at me with a soft smile. I kiss your lips now, and then again and again.

-

There is not much we can do with only glances as sparks and touches as kindling. The fire we make still roars, but it only roars for us. Only you, and only me.

Yet we must set fires. What else can we do? Heat is the only way I know to melt snow. I will make it through this fucking winter to see the spring. I will see you among the world in bloom, surrounded by warmth that you have not had to fight to make, grinning and glad to be alive.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on twitter @angstcaffeine, where you can @ me about anything except the title of this fic


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